if a blonde and a redneck were to jump of a building who would reach the floor first.
The redneck the blonde would stop to ask for directions
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”
The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.”
The next day there was a hailstorm.
“This Indian is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn’t show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him.
“I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like?”
The Indian shrugged his shoulders.
“Don’t know,” he said.
“Radio is broken.”
There were 3 boys one called shit the another called fuck and the 3rd one called manners, they all went for a bike ride one day and shit fell off his bike, fuck went to the police station to get help as it was very close and manners went to help shit who had fallen off his bike, fuck got into the police station and a police man said whats your name “fuck” police man asks again whats your name “fuck” where are your manners? “Up the road picking up shit”
What do you call three girls under a Christmas tree
hoe hoe hoe
LICENSE TO STEALTwo Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
A little boy wanted $100 very badly; his mother told him to pray to God for it.
He prayed for two weeks but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.
When the post office received the letter addressed to God, they opened it and decided to send it to the President.
The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy $5. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank you letter, which read as follows;
Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, those thieving scallys deducted $95.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
She is so blonde; she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed his mum’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, ‘I need a man, I need a man.’Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day Johnny came home from school and heard her moaning again. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself and moaned, ‘Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!’
A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, ”If you were my husband I would poison your drink.”The man replied, ”If you were my wife I would drink it.”
a man and his wife stopped in at a bar,sat down on a stool beside this guy,after a while this man let go with a sizzler the man with his wife ask,did you fart fore my wife,the man replied,didn’t know it was her turn.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the
judge said to Mickey, “You say here that your wife is crazy.”
Mickey replied, “No I didn’t, I said she was fucking Goofy.”
There was some people an a plane and they threw a appl, and orange, and a bomb out the window. When they landed they decided to go on a walk and there was a boy cyring and they asked why are you crying and he said a apple came out of the sky and hurt my dog, so they went on and saw this girl crying and they asked why are you cryin and the girl said a orange came out of the sky and hurt my cat so they went on and saw a blond laughing and they said whats so funny and she said i farted and the building behind me blew up!!!