Category: riddles

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

– Russel

How many animals can fit in a pair of panty hose?

Fourteen. Ten little piggies, two calves, an ass and a beaver.

What did the traffic light say when it stayed on red?

“You would be red too if you had to change in front of everyone!”

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

– No ballroom.

What did the one carrot say to the other?

– Nothing. Carrots can’t talk.

Date: Sun, 26 May 96 00:35:00 -0800
From: Paul Jacobs
To: joke@totalweb.com

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick.

How did Hitler tie his shoes?

With little Nazis.

Check out the following exercise, guaranteed to freak you out. There’s no
trick or surprise. Just follow these instructions, and answer the
questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!

As quickly as you can but don’t advance until you’ve done each of
them…really.

Now, ARROW down (but not too fast, you might miss something)…

What is:

1+5?

2+4?

3+3?

4+2?

5+1?

Now repeat saying the number 6 to yourself as fast as you can for 15
seconds.

Then scroll down.

QUICK!!! THINK OF A VEGETABLE!

Then arrow down.

Keep going.

You’re thinking of a carrot right?

If not, you’re among the 2% of the population whose minds are warped
enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with carrot
when given this exercise. Freaky, huh?

Q: What did the vampire say when he was invited to dinner? A: “No fangs, I just ate necks door.”

Why are electric trains like a mother’s breasts?

They were both designed for the kids, but it’s the fathers who are always
playing with them.

What’s the difference between a man who falls off the 20th floor
of a building and a man who falls off the first floor?

One goes “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” *Plop*

And the other goes *Plop* “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

What did the bag of chips say to the battery?

I’m Frito Lay if you’re Everready.