Jokes tagged as Life

16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:

16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

...

What not to say to a cop!!

NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I...

Tummy trouble

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. Th...

To Be Her Tampon

Prince Charles, 56, will marry his long-term partner, 57-year-old Camilla.
Charles said "I love her...

Trojan Man

Two guys were hiking up a mountain when they came upon some people bungee jumping. One said to the o...

All in the Family

Why did Einstein marry his cousin?

He postulated that men have a special attraction ot the breast...

Priorities

Two teenagers were arrested for possession of marijuana. At the police station the sergeant told th...

Nightmare food

Q: What food kills a woman’s sex drive?

A: Wedding cake....

No pay today

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?...

Radio Letter

Dear Safety Harbor Middle School:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent seni...

Cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite...

What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A salad shooter....

Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Queen Mary Having B...

Short legged...

What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Ilene

What do you call a Chinese ...

More Wonderments!

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you choke a Smurf, what col...

Things learned from children...

Some things I've learned from my children:

Super glue "is" forever.

No matter how much Jell-O ...

Even more facts of life...

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Th...

Some of life's truisms.

Some of life's truisms...

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Support bacteria...

Some Words of Wisdom

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
...

Why, How, and Ifs?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonet...