Jokes tagged as Drunk

One Last Night

One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. Aft...

After a long pubcrawl...

After a long pubcrawl those two guys discuss wether the moon is red orgreen. Since they can't come t...

A fellow decides to take off early from work...

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, ...

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy...

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy askingwhat time the bar opens. "It open...

Little old Mr. Ravelli is on his front stoop...

Little old Mr. Ravelli is on his front stoop, barbequeing a chicken on a manual rotisserie. A dr...

A rather novel way to...

A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the fr...

A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested...

A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested,then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:...

Out of the Greek Myths

The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of ...

Drunk walks into elevator...

Drunk walks into elevator, no elevator there, falls five stories down, lands on the bottom. Lies the...

A horrible tragedy

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he comments, "Yo...

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours...

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned somethingabout his girlfriend being o...

Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:IndubitablyInnovativePreliminaryProliferationCinn...

I'm going to a lecture

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walkin...

Two friends were out drinking...

Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless...

Please describe him

A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severely bleeding. The officer as...

Chanowski and his other Polak drinking buddy

Chanowski & his other Polak drinking buddy are sitting at a bar . "See those guys over there? " Chan...

BAR TROUBLESHOOTING CHART

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you ano...

SOTALLY TOBER

starkle starkle little twink who the hell you are I think I'm not under what you call the alcofluenc...

Get Sober!

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your compl...

What time does the bar open?

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.
"It op...