Jokes tagged as Doctor

Purchasing the brain

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor sa...

Aids or Alzheimers?

A guy takes his ill and aging wife in to the doctor's office. After a full examination, the doc tel...

Stop the count!

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doct...

Not specific enough!

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visi...

Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

...

Origin of Lawyers

An anxious woman goes to her doctor.

"Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from ana...

Sex Therapy

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promis...

Psychiatrists and Patients

How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital?

...

I'm A Curtain

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a curtain.
Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!...

Psychiatrist Definitions

Psychiatrist:1) Mind-sweeper.2) Someone who asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for not...

Nurses Revenge

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arro...

New Virgin

A woman was going to marry one of those guys that wanted a virgin. Since she was not, she went to a...

Colored Penis

A fellow went to the doctor one day and said, "Doc, I have a problem. My penis is red."

Doctor re...

Hard Transplant

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower be...

Easy Specimens

An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old m...

Deep Cuts

Doctor, don't cut so deep. That's the third operating table you've ruined this month!...

Sore Throat

A man comes to an Italian doctor because of sore throat. The doctor tells him to pull down his pants...

Blonde with Big Tummy

Trish: My tummy is getting awfully big, doctor.

Doctor: You should diet.

Trish: Really? What...

Brown Eye

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What doe...

Optician

A man goes into the optician and asks for his eyes to be tested because he suspected short sightedne...